Ep. 9 What Does Your Wonderland Look Like? Bring it to Real Life! With Guest Stefni Valencia
Updated: Aug 20, 2019
A multidisciplinary artist, Stefni Valencia is an inspiration to women.She not only sings, she’s a composer, actress, events and radio host, and teacher of aerial art.
She became a motivational speaker to young students when she was only in junior high. She knew early on she had to be her own best friend and a friend discovered this confidence and maturity and encouraged her to speak to young adults.
In this episode we go way back to the monkey bars and how much an impact our younger selves make on our adult selves.
Stefni uses the stage to share not only her art and passion for music but also to instill confidence in both young and adult women. She says this confidence leads to better choices in friendships, relationships and living a true authentic life filled with fulfillment and joy.
She has worked with at-risk youth. She says “You have to be fearless and know who you are.”
What I learned from Stefni:
Know who you are.
Be happy with who you are.
Do things for yourself.
Stefni says "It doesn’t matter what ones baggage is, what matters is this moment.”
A question to consider… What makes you happy? Do you know what makes you happy?
When doing an excercise with adults she discovered that a majority of adults couldn't feel comfortable walking into a room and introducing themselves.
“I didn’t realize how intimidating it was for people to walk into a room and introduce yourself.”
“I am exuding this confidence that I feel good.” Stefni says if I tell someone I look adorable in sweats, then if I walk in they will tell say "I look adorable in sweats."
If you don’t know who you are, you get vacuumed into someone else aura.
Stefni tells me a story about going to your wonderland.
“Go to your wonderland”
Here is an exercise Stefni says to consider when it comes to picturing and truly living the life you want.
She tells me she had a conversation with junior high students about ‘self-esteem,’ and when you find the significant other to stay true to yourself.
“The moment you start allowing and making excuses that’s when you start opening up the floodgates.”
She says to close your eyes and walk into a world, like your own wonderland. Picture the best version of yourself. What do you see? What do you look like, what are you wearing?
She said how many of you look exactly the same. How many looked like a different person.
She said one girl pictured herself with different outfit, and short hair… the next day that person found Stefni. She was actually a teacher, not a student. She said she later went home and broke up with her boyfriend. Stefni said it took a high schooler to come and open my eyes for me to realize I was living a sham of a relationship. She was looking a certain way for her boyfriend.
She told Stefni when she walked into that ‘wonderland’ she looked like how she used to look before this man came into her life and slowly changed her. The woman didn’t even think she wasn’t getting dressed for herself. She was living for him. She thanked Stefni for allowing her to see the change she needed to make.
Stefni says if you even touch one person who can relate, that’s one person whose life you changed today. “My way isn’t the right way, my way is just my way,” Stefni says this is where the confidence comes into play to live your most authentic life.
Ways to stay grounded:
Unplug from digital life.
Life is passing you by it’s not going to stop. It’s not going to rewind. Focus on your breathing.
Sit at a coffee shop and people watch.
Take the moment to yourself to see what’s around you, instead of what’s next.
Literally stop and smell the roses.
Get back to what you want and need in life.
Are you living a fulfilling life for yourself?
GO TO YOUR WONDERLAND!
How to find Stefni Valencia: